💜 Surviving Domestic Violence is a time for us to move beyond ribbons. We must go beyond ribbons and headlines. October isn’t just about purple ribbons. It’s a national call to action.
💜 Domestic Violence Awareness Month: A Mandate for Action, Not Just Ribbons
To genuinely support survivors of domestic violence, our society must move beyond the temporary comfort of purple ribbons and startling headlines. For this reason, October serves as a national call to action, demanding tangible change rather than passive awareness.
🌑 When Night Trauma Annihilates Sleep: A Survivor’s Reality
Trauma rarely announces its arrival; instead, it hides in the suffocating silence. It expertly camouflages itself as resilience beneath layered sweaters and behind forced smiles, all while twisting memory into a disorienting mist.
At exactly 4:26 a.m., I consistently woke up drenched in sweat and trembling—my heart pounded furiously while my mind replayed the same horrific scene. Since the assault in July 2025, this relentless post-traumatic stress has completely ruled my nights. In fact, every descent into darkness resurrects the attack: his fist, my chest, and the terrifying quiet that followed.
He knew my heart was weak from a previous illness, yet he chose to strike it anyway.
Ultimately, that wasn’t an act of love. That was calculated, strategic violence.
Despite this nightly terror, I function as a professional woman and a Long COVID survivor, now 35 years sober after successfully battling heart failure. For a long time, I mistakenly believed love could heal any wound—until it was used as a weapon that nearly killed me.
Therefore, this story is not a confession. It is a declaration for the women still hiding in fear, for the professionals whispering in the shadows, and for every survivor who is consistently told to shrink.
🌪️ The Aftermath: Surviving Physical Violence and Cardiac Trauma
Understanding That Physical Shock Is More Than Emotional
The silence after the strike offered no comfort; on the contrary, it thundered with menace. Instantly, pain erupted like a searing fire beneath my ribs. His blow deliberately targeted the very organ I had fought so hard to protect. Following this, the sound of tires screeching into the night pierced the quiet—no apology, no ambulance, only the chilling finality of abandonment.
Recognizing Invisible Abuse: When Domestic Violence Hides in Plain Sight
Many people still picture domestic violence as obvious bruises or broken bones. The reality, however, is that few recognize the quiet psychological abuse—the gaslighting, chronic blame, and coercive isolation that systematically chip away at a person’s worth. Over time, a victim learns to adapt to the manipulation, begins to rationalize the harm, and finds themself enduring the unbearable just to survive another day.
Although a previous illness had taught me endurance, this experience was profoundly different. Specifically, this pain was intentional, strategic, and utterly invisible to the outside world.
Nevertheless, my body understood the truth. With a hand protectively over my chest, I whispered to myself, “Breathe.” Every single inhale defied the overwhelming fear; each powerful exhale reclaimed my autonomy.
💔 The Awakening: Reclaiming My Voice After Verbal and Emotional Abuse
Verbal Abuse Tactics: Words That Inflict Deeper Wounds
The physical punch wasn’t the final wound. Afterward, a barrage of words followed—each one sharp, deliberate, and unforgettable.
- “You’ll never find love again.”
- “You’re the abuser.”
- “You called the police? You betrayed me.”
- “I’ll love you forever—but I’ll never stop drinking.”
These weren’t merely slips of anger; in fact, they were calculated weapons of control. Even so, instead of silencing me, they sparked a profound rebellion.
A Necessary Redefinition of Love, Loyalty, and Self-Worth
Previously, I believed that love meant staying no matter the cost and mistakenly thought that forgiveness automatically equaled healing. True love, however, never demands your silence, never bruises your body, and certainly never leaves you gasping for breath.
In that single moment of clarity, my loyalty fundamentally shifted—away from him and firmly toward myself.
Harnessing Truth as a Tool for Healing from Trauma
My healing began in whispers, cultivated through intensive therapy sessions, private journal entries, and confidential survivor circles. During many early dawns, I repeated the mantra, “You lived. Now, you must speak.”
With each truth I articulated, the shame began to dismantle. For a long time, my silence had shielded him. Today, my honesty shields me—and, hopefully, other survivors of intimate partner violence.
🌅 The Rise: Transforming Personal Trauma Into Public Advocacy
From Survivor to Advocate: Realizing Survival Is Only the Beginning
Surviving the violence gave me breath, but finding my purpose consequently gave me a voice.
As soon as I started to speak my truth, other people began whispering, “Me too.” Subsequently, workplaces reached out for survivor-led training sessions on trauma-informed management. In addition, corporate leaders started asking for policy frameworks to better support employees experiencing domestic abuse. As a result, my story transformed from a source of personal pain into a vehicle for public purpose.
Ultimately, true advocacy isn’t about revenge—it’s about lasting, systemic reform.
Redefining Leadership Through the Power of Lived Experience
Professional survivors often stay silent to protect their careers from stigma and judgment. I refused to follow that path. Instead, I turned survival into strategy, converted trauma into training, and forged my pain into policy. By mentoring other survivors and consulting with global organizations, I proved that lived experience is a powerful and necessary form of leadership. After all, authentic strength doesn’t emerge from a life of ease—it rises from the ruins.
🔥 From Pain to Policy: A Demand for Systemic Change in Domestic Violence Response
Why Domestic Violence Awareness Must Evolve Into Concrete Action
October brings supportive hashtags and purple lights, but symbolic ribbons alone don’t rescue lives. Therefore, real, life-saving change demands accountability and systemic reform.
To finally end the devastating cycle of domestic violence, we must take the following actions:
- Declare domestic violence a public health crisis at state and national levels.
- Enforce meaningful justice and consequences for abusers.
- Fund long-term, accessible trauma recovery programs for survivors and their children.
- Expand and support shelters, counseling, and legal aid for victims.
Silence unequivocally protects perpetrators. In contrast, meaningful reform saves lives.
Becoming a Voice for Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence
I once asked, “Why me?” Now, I find myself asking a different question: “Who else needs to hear they’re not alone?”
The trauma didn’t break me—indeed, it ignited a fire with a powerful purpose. Where silence once shielded my abuser, my voice today shields others. These scars are not symbols of weakness; rather, they are proof of survival and the fuel for change. Truth no longer confines me; on the contrary, it unleashes a profound and liberating freedom.
By telling my story, I continue to heal. Furthermore, may my words, experience, and hope blaze a path forward for every survivor still living in the dark.
🚨 Illinois Domestic Violence Emergency: A Worsening Crisis
- 🔺 A staggering 110% surge in domestic violence–related deaths occurred between 2022 and 2023.
- 🕯️ 120 lives were lost across 94 brutal incidents statewide.
- 🔫 Abuse-linked shootings in Chicago spiked by 19%.
- 🚨 Domestic violence arrests plummeted as reporting declined, dropping from 18% to just 10%.
These statistics clearly reflect an active state of emergency.
💥 Domestic violence in Illinois isn’t slowing down—it is actively escalating. Consequently, survivors aren’t being protected—they are being abandoned by a failing system.
👉 The system must change. The time for that change is now.
📊 U.S. and Illinois Domestic Violence Data
| Region | Key Statistics | Trends & Insights |
| U.S. | 1 in 3 women are abused by a partner; domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime. | This abuse is widespread, significantly underreported, and increasingly lethal. |
| Illinois | 110% rise in DV deaths; 19% rise in shootings; 10% arrest rate. | Survivors remain unprotected while predators go unpunished by the justice system. |
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🔍 Understanding the Root Causes of Escalating Domestic Abuse
- Lingering post-pandemic trauma and economic stress.
- Widespread housing instability and financial insecurity.
- Critical gaps in affordable mental health care.
- Pervasive cultural stigma that enforces victims’ silence.
- Workplace fears of professional fallout and job loss.
Together, these forces don’t just burden survivors—they effectively trap them in dangerous cycles of fear, isolation, and escalating violence. This isn’t just a crisis; it is a full-blown public health emergency.
💼 My Path from Trauma Recovery to Professional Empowerment
I didn’t collapse after the assault—I rebuilt my life with unwavering intention.
While my abuser vanished into silence, I showed up every day with a renewed sense of purpose. I began working with intense focus, creating with deep conviction, and leading directly through my pain. Instead of being a distraction, my career actually grounded me in my own strength.
For instance, innovation reignited my clarity. Additionally, professional collaboration reconnected me to my community. Most importantly, leadership transformed my trauma into powerful forward momentum. This was not merely a hustle but survival with a clear strategy. My post-assault recovery was, therefore, powered by an unwavering purpose.
🧠 The Truth About Resilience: Healing From Trauma Is Not a Straight Line
To truly understand survival, it is essential that we destroy the harmful myths surrounding domestic abuse once and for all:
- Abuse doesn’t only affect “broken” people. In reality, I was sober, successful, and professionally accomplished—and it still happened to me.
- “Strong” women don’t always leave quickly because, for many, the process of leaving is the most dangerous time and can get you killed.
- If the danger were always obvious, everyone would run at the first sign. But it’s not; abuse is often slow, insidious, and calculated.
- Healing is messy and non-linear; some days are filled with tears, while on others, I shine. In fact, most days involve a complex combination of both.
📈 Illinois Domestic Violence Data Snapshot
- 110% increase in DV-related deaths
- 120 lives lost in 94 separate incidents
- 19% rise in abuse-related shootings (Chicago)
- Arrests dropped from 18% to 10%
- Source: ICADV | Fox32 News
💪 How to Help Domestic Abuse Survivors and Create Safer Communities
💜 Support Individual Survivors in Your Life
- Listen without judgment or blame.
- Share the national and local hotline information and resources for safe shelters.
- Always respect their privacy and complex safety plans.
💼 Create Safer and More Supportive Workplaces
- Enforce VESSA protections for employees in Illinois.
- Train managers and HR leaders to recognize behavioral red flags of abuse.
- Partner with legal aid and survivor support organizations to provide resources.
✨ A Final Call to Action: Rise Loud. Lead Bold.
To every survivor aching in silence—I see you. For every woman rising through indescribable pain—I stand with you. And to every leader with influence—you must use it. Speak up for those who can’t. Back survivors without hesitation. Demand better from our systems and our communities.
This isn’t just about survival. This is about purpose. This is about power. This is, without a doubt, the beginning of something truly unbreakable.
Other 💜 Surviving Domestic Violence Resources
- Chicago Helpline: 1-877-863-6338
- Executive Women’s Network (LinkedIn Group)
- National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE
- ilcadv.org Illinois Coalition
