All Life’s End, Being Love Matters

All Life’s End, Being Love Matters

My family is everything. When tragic loss happened this week I find myself missing my kids, thinking of them and remembering that life is too short to stay chained to pain and despair. When faced with difficult times, let us find new strength, let us be encouragement. Let us keep creating dreams and be love, for as long as we are living.

Steve Jobs was adopted, he was a drop out, he was fired, and he was most inspired.

Remembering that I will be dead soon, all fear of embarrassment and failure leaves only what is important. Avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You have no reason to not follow your heart! Death is the destination we all share.

Follow your heart, even if it leads you off the well known path. I found what I learned to do early in life. How can you get fired from a company you started. Our visions diverged. At 30 I was publicly out. I felt i let the other generation of entrepreneurs down. I was a failure, but I still loved what I did. I had been rejected but I was in love. Getting fired from Apple was the best thing that ever happened. It freed me to be creative. I found a lovely woman that became my wife. Sometimes life will hit you in the head with a brick. You have to find what you love.

Do what you believe is great work. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle. When you find it, It just gets better as the years go on.

Live each day as if it is your last, because one day, you will be right.

Steve Jobs

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A parent is a parent from the moment they care for their child. It is the deepest bond I have known. When I became a Mom, I learned it was the toughest job with the greatest meaning . I would learn to recognize how important it is to be present, but to allow children to grow, to change, and to be themselves, with guidance. Adopted or birthed, all children that grace our life makes life much richer.

I have wondered in appreciating the gifts of my children. They grew up a bit faster than I expected. After they moved out, I thought I would joyful for the free time, to do whatever I wanted. The reality was considerably more nuanced. Their happiness delighted me.. However I have spent now the majority of my life in loving and caring for my kids and family.

I have 2 beautiful children of my own. I have a lovely bonus daughter, who has been is part of our family since she was turning 18. I love my family as my own. I do not possess them. I care for them. In the last 2 years. my kids moved on to finish school away from home. I much hoped it would be forever that they stayed at home. Not realistic I know.

As they left I learned another thing. My Dad told me years ago as he watched me struggle. While visiting my hometown Pontiac, IL I left the house so my family didn’t have to see me. If they saw me they would know the pain. I felt guilty for being angry and not being able to handle the situation with more grace or finesse. I sat on a cold winter night at the only place open late in town- McDonalds, drinking coffee and trying to calm down. I was there for 3 hours, sometime around 10 pm. Dad called.

“Honey, a parent NEVER EVER stops caring for their children. I know you are upset about (this difficult situation with your kids), but you are MY daughter, and I am worried about you. Please come home.”

Dad

I returned home. We had coffee, we talked about life. We talked about hopes and dealing with frustration. My parents are so important to me. Talks with Dad always make sense, and it reminded me of the importance of love. I would talk to him about hurts over others who have wronged me. Dad’s response was always, “keep your side of the street clean, you can’t control what they do. ”

Yesterday September 12, 2021, my bonus daughter lost her Dad.

I ached for her. I could not stop crying for the pain she was feeling, and how helpless I was to reach her. Ohio was so for 2,400 miles from me, and all I wanted was to be there. to hug her, and say how sorry I am.

I needed to be there for her, not with words, just love. Oh a few words, I needed so desperately to speak the truths I have known and remind her how much she is loved. That a parent never ever stops caring for their children. That love of a parent is forever and transcends time. As you remember him, and honor his memory, so he remembers you. To remind her how proud her Dad was of him. He told me so, and he was a good and gentle man.

I felt frustration for the distance, for the difficulty of these times,, for not having resources to just run to be at my kids side when they need me. It was a feeling of despair, that COVID has so disrupted life and magnified sickness. There is no upset bigger than when your children are suffering and need love.

What can I do to be love right now?

I wish to fly there and hug her, and remind her that its okay to cry but its important to come home, feel the pain, reconnect to love and remember how important that connection is. Through swollen eyes and tear stained face, I am surrounding her with love from afar in my prayers.

We all will die sometime, its true. How close I have come to death in the past year’s dance with COVID! While we are here is just a short time. Let us remember to be love. Let us heal the wrongs, and connect to caring for one another.

Safe social distancing is not isolation. Let us remember to be love, to cultivate love, to try to stop holding anger, resentment and pain for those failures. Let us start to live for the gift of this moment, and the foundation for our future.

To my Mom and Dad– Thank you for raising us well and teaching us love. May I live to make you proud. May you live long in great health and may we celebrate simpler times! Yes Mom, I did have a daughter, and she was alot like me. Better than me really. I am sorry for being a headstrong know it all. I know a whole lot less now, and I appreciate a whole lot more of what you have done for my brothers and I. I know also that stubborn in a child became resilient in adult. You have taught me to face life boldly, head on and keep getting back up when you fall. Thank you !

To my children— Thank you for being the light of my life, the hope of my heart, and striving for your best future. Your creativity, your dreams matter. May I live to see you thrive and grow and make great things happen in life May you live a life inspired, where you know you hold the key to make your dreams come true. A bit of faith, a bit of hard work and a bit of smarts will take you far. May you wish to always be in my life and accept my love for you. Thank you!

To my friends and family— thank you for all you are and have been in my life. May we enjoy many more magical moments together. May we remember to keep in touch and keep caring for one another. Thank you!

To my love– Thank you for reminding me that love can happen. That someone can honor their word and love you every day. I hear the echoes of my Dad’s wisdom in your words. I see the actions of a man who works hard and supports family. I delight in the adventures, doing nothing, or something. Coming together after a tough day and remembering that life shared is really pretty good always. Thank you for loving me and helping me be my best self.

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